Missing Mr Clarke

1. I do miss Nicholas Campbell Clarke. He was better known to the nation as Nick Clarke and he presented The World At One on BBC Radio 4 at lunchtime every weekday. I liked him because of his extremely skilled interviewing technique. This last few months, in the lead up to the General Election, he would have been in his element.

   Unlike today's interviewers, mainly men I have to add, he was rarely if ever aggressive, and never rude. That was part of his skill. He made his interviewees feel secure and in control. He rarely interrupted them. Then, oh so politely, he would ask the killer questions. If he didn't feel satisfied with the answers he persisted, gently and calmly, to ask those questions. And if those being interviewed had been in any way deceitful, they squirmed. Nick gave them all the rope they needed.

   Compare that with the way political interviews are conducted today. They are less like interviews and more resemble aggressive heated arguments. And are far less informative than Nick Clarke's elegant encounters.

   Sadly Nick was taken from us way before his time, and I am sure I am not alone in missing him and his dulcet tones on the radio.

Thoughts of Armchairman Patrick - April 1st 2015

I've used this blog so far to try and record my early life for my children, and I will continue to do this as and when. However, having run out of steam on that, I now want to widen it's scope by adding some random thoughts as they occur. So here goes.

I am aware that I get annoyed very easily. For example, thousands of pounds of taxpayers money has recently been spent on redesigning a traffic roundabout in our town. It is a busy roundabout used by hundreds of motorists every day. The main thing wrong with it was that the white lines had largely worn away and needed repainting, and a little redesigning. Otherwise it worked well as far as I could see.

Not good enough for the road authorities. No, they decided that it needed major work done on it, and warned us of possible road closures while this was carried out. Up to seven months, they said.

To be fair, the road closures, apart from some lane restriction, did not happen and we were able to still get through with a little patience. However, they have just finished and the work has taken nearly a year.

But have we now got a superb redesigned roundabout? No, not in my opinion. We have lane that throws drivers unexpectedly into the right hand lane when you are expecting to be in the left lane, and another that indicates straight ahead, and then puts you into a turn left lane from which the only escape is across hatching, which is both dangerous and, I believe, against the Highway Code.

These are not the only dangerous aspects of this new design, but I won't bore you further on the subject. Suffice to ask who designs these things? Do they have any practical experience of their subject and suitable qualifications? One does wonder.

I hope that I'm just an old fuddy-duddy in this case, and that I'm proved wrong. I hope that the traffic does run smoothly round the roundabout, but I have an uneasy feeling about it. I really do.

Did you spot any good April Fools jokes today? I didn't, although with the Election getting well and truly underway now that politicians have been kicked out of Westminster to once more seek our crosses on ballot forms, it's hard to tell. 

Tourist Information in Romano-Britain

Many moons ago I opened a Tourist Information Office (TIC), as they were called then, in part of our family shop in Burford, Oxfordshire. The town still has one, I'm pleased to say. Very soon we became affiliated to the English Tourist Board and, although voluntary, I became an official TIC manager. 

Soon I was receiving their new in-house magazine 'Network', and in the first edition there was a competition. Write a piece on working in a TIC back in Roman times, they said. First prize was a beautiful new book on Roman Britain. I won it, by writing the following. I hope you like it.

"Hello dear ..."

"Hello dear. Did you have a good day at the Informationus Office?"

"Oh,not bad on the whole, but we had some tricky customers in this morning."

"Did you?"

"Yes. One shifty looking so-and-so wanted to know on which corners the biggest crowds gathered while waiting for the Arena to open."

"Shifty?"

"Well, yes. He had long baggy clothes on and while he as leaning against the counter to see the street-map I was showing him. I couldn't help noticing a third hand emerge from one of his front pockets and grab a load of free leaflets!"

"I see what you mean."

"Then we had an off-duty centurion. Poor devil, he was frozen because he was from the other end of the Empire, Peloponnese I think, and they've posted him to Hadrian's Wall! Anyway, I said that the best thing he could do would be to get down to the baths a bit quick and immerse himself in the hot ones until his leave is up!"

"Not many tourists about at this time of the year, is there?"

"No, not really, I suppose. But we do get a fair proportion of tinkers in. They want to know which are market days and what time the soldiers patrol - because they don't want to get moved on, I should imagine. One asked me which road he could get from here to Corinium on without being mugged! I said it depends how fast you can run."

"Is there anything good on at the Corinium Arena next week? I thought I'd take the kids along for a treat."

"Well, let's see now. On Tuesday there's 'Centurions versus Gladiators' with a few wild animals thrown in for good measure. I bet they'd love that!"

"Anyone special on the bill?"

"Well, the Gladiators' captain is Sid the Centurion Strangler and the others have Gladys the Gladdy-Basher - that ought to keep them happy."

"That's fine. I'll leave the kids in there while I do the shopping. It's nice to have somewhere that you can leave the kids where you know they'll be safe."

"I'll have to get in early to the Centre tomorrow, before the rush starts, so that I can make a start on the accommodation lists. Otherwise I'll have the Director breathing down my toga."

"Does he get bothered?"

"Not really, but he likes to keep the pot bubbling, as it were."

"I should think he's got enough on his plate anyway."

"Yes, he's trying to convince the Forum that we do a useful job. That's why he likes to keep us on the go, 'cos it's not too good for his argument if some Senator wanders in and finds us all sitting there, feet up and sandals off, studying Marathon form!"

"Have you got the new Pyramid Trail promotional stuff yet?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well, I thought I'd take the kids off on that next year. It would be nice if you came too, but I expect you're likely to be busy - what with all those folks coming in for the big census."

"Yes, I think I'll be tied up with all that, but you shouldn't be away more than eighteen months or so if you take the package deal. I'll nip down to the baths when they're quiet, so you needn't worry about my laundry."

"I'll need a good map. What have you got down down at the Centre?"

"There's a very good map of the Empire on folded papyrus - that's nice and light when you're travelling. We had a poor bloke in today who was trying to get around using a complete set of VIII over LCCCMXVV Ordnus Servus, engraved on marble! He was strapped up with more leather than a socked-out centurion - and his donkey looked a bit hollow backed too! Those maps don't even have visitor information overlay - not like your papyrus ones. Sometimes we get some twits with sand-boxes. We spend hours drawing out the local street-map for them with our fingers, then they go out the door and the wind whips the lot away! Anything rather than spend a few crowns on a decent map!"

"Ah well, I suppose you have to put up with that sort of thing when you work in a Visitor Information Centre. Here, you were a bit late back tonight, weren't you?"

"Yes, I got lost."

IPHONE ART ALL AROUND US - 3

These photos are time exposures ...

Cheltenham Town Centre

Italian Restaurant

The Abbey Grounds

Woods along the Churn

Buddlia

Morning Café

IPHONE ART ALL AROUND US - 2

I used a time exposure app in full daylight in the Abbey Grounds, Cirencester, to see what would happen. This is what happened.

Cotswold Water Park Lake 6, from the café. I just boosted the colours a little.

I love the fact that iPhones make street photography very easy. This is the Adamant Jazz Band outside Brecon Cathedral, warming up for the morning jazz service, where it is traditional for them to lead the clergy in and out of the building.

The Cotswold Water Park is being formed from ongoing gravel extraction works in the upper Thames Valley. This creates some intriguing photographic opportunities. This is near Ashton Keynes.

Ross-on-Wye August 2014. It stands on a red sandstone bluff above the beautiful River Wye, on the Wales/England border. This border country is known as the Welsh Marches (pronounced 'marshes').

Another time exposure app experiment in the Abbey Grounds, Cirencester. I don't cut and paste in my pictures. They are all straight shots except for the colour balance. I play around with colour filters, that's all.

A Cirencester apple orchard near us. This scene just leapt out at me and said 'Take me!' So I did. It's a straight shot except for the fact that I lightened the shadow slightly.

IPHONE ART ALL AROUND US

A selection of my favourite photographs ...

Gloucester Docks Silhouette, August 2014. I like the connection with sails and weather conditions here. I just under exposed the shot.

Gloucester Docks during filming of "Through The Looking Glass" August 2014. The tall ships always make the docks look olde worldly, especially with a touch of sepia filter.

New Brewery Arts Centre, Cirencester, 2013. The man and the pigeons are as it was, with postcard effect added using an app.

Smoke Bush, Abbey Grounds, Cirencester 2014. As with my other iPhone pictures this is a straight shot with just the colours brought out strongly by applying a filter.

Waiting for a bus, Ilfracombe 2014. I was in the bus station when I took this shot.

National Arboretum Memorial 2014. At the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month each year the sun is lined up with the slot in the wall and shines on the poppies. One hopes it is shining at that time. Very moving, even just thinking about it.

Clevedon Pier, 2014. At the end of the pier is a lovely little cafe selling tea, coffee and cake. I prefer that to fishing.

The Rosetta Stone, British Museum, London 2014. One of my 'selfies', using the reflective glass of the display cabinet.

Mill Stream, Cirencester 2014. A straight picture.

Abbey Grounds Fishing Lake, Cirencester 2014. All this took was to increase the contrast.

The Norman Arch, Cirencester 2013. A straight shot. I love the gateway being echoed by the doorway, both leading into the Abbey Grounds. 

Display Cart, The Organic Farm Shop, Wiggold, Cirencester 2013. This scene was just there for the taking, so why not?

Waiting for the Swindon Bus, Cirencester 2013. I just loved this chap's outfit. He had real style, but I didn't have the courage to ask him about it. It would have disturbed what, to me, was a gift of a scene.

The Vortex Water Feature, Alnwick Castle Gardens 2013. All this took was an increase in contrast. Otherwise the picture, again, is as it was, whirling water in a great steel dish. It is quite my favourite feature in the water garden, and takes about ten minutes to go through its sequence of emptying and refilling, so stick around for the whole show. So many people don't stay. Too impatient.

The North Sea at Alnmouth 2013. My personal caption to this is, "That's the North Sea, that is, Ethel. Starts here and goes all the way to Denmark." Feel free to make up your own.

Patrick Wise's Schooldays - Primary Days ~

The Migraine Years

It soon became clear to me, but no-one else, with the possible exception of my mother to some degree, that I suffered at school. It was not from bullying, which came later at Grammar School, but from what nowadays is known as migraine. Severe migraine. Migraine didn't exist in the forties. One had headaches and they were regarded as a woman's complaint. Men didn't have them, and neither did schoolboys. My experience was that I could not look at black print on white pages for more than ten minutes without getting a blinding sharp pain in my head.

And it didn't go away when I stopped reading. The trigger had been pressed and I would have to go through the whole ghastly process. This was raging head pain that lasted around twenty-four hours and made me feel sick. Sound and light became unbearable and I just wanted to bury my head under a pillow to shut out the world. If all this sounds a little extreme, believe me, this was how it was, and it stayed that way until after I was over forty years old.

It made school work very difficult. It made everything difficult. But I had to try to keep up with the pack, even though the going was tough. University was out of the question, although I did manage a one year course at what is now known as The Royal Agricultural University. It was a College when I went. 

My mother, God bless her, realised that something was wrong with me, but what could she do? Take me to the doctor? She did, many times. The answer was always the same. Take him home and give him an aspirin. Sometimes I was taken to the Radcliffe Infirmary in Oxford, where I was led into small hot rooms after long waits, asked to lie on a bed while rubber nets were stretched over my head! Electrodes were inserted under this unbecoming stretchy hairnet until I looked like Medusa, and I was asked to lay back and keep still. The medic would then sit across the room behind a screen, the lights would be turned down I'd be asked apparently randomly to close my eyes, open my eyes, take a deep breath, hold it, close my eyes, breathe out, open my left eye, close it, open my right eye, or so I remember. Eventually I'd be put back together and packed off back to the consulting room where I'd be looked at with some disdain.  

Take him home,they'd tell my mother, and give him an aspirin.

As anyone who suffers from migraine will know, this was entirely useless advice. Migraine didn't exist, so it was thought, hence the inappropriate advice.

Migraine continued not to exist until I my mid teens.

By then things were happening. People who mattered must have been reporting similar symptoms to me, I suspect. It was beginning to dawn on the medical profession that there was a problem out there in general public land. I expect work days were being lost and industry was complaining.

The Migraine Trust was founded in 1965.

I subscribed, and it marked a small turning point in my life. Reading letters from other sufferers in the Trust's newsletter was an eye opener. I was not alone. I was not a malingerer, a tag I had acquired in some circles. I really did have a medical condition. My mother, a former children's nurse, continued to fight for me. She even got me an appointment to see a migraine specialist in Harley Street. But this was still early days. I guess that there was much experimentation going on. I was given some pills and told to take them whenever a migraine attack occurred. I did. They made my kidneys ache and knocked me out for 24 hours. I stopped taking them.

I continued to have severe migraine attacks until I reached my mid forties, on average half of every week would be spent fighting them while trying to lead a normal life. To use a term, they were a drag. They affected every aspect of my life. Everything. It was difficult, to say the least. But by my mid-forties I was beginning to win the battle. The attacks were becoming milder and less frequent. Now I hardly ever get them. It's taken one heart attack and a life sentence of daily pill taking, but hey! I'm walking and talking. Life is good. 

I'm alive and happy.