HURTIGRUTEN

We travelled along the Norwegian coast in a Hurtigruten ship which was named after the founder of the service, 'Richard With'. These amazing vessels ply the rocky, island strewn pcoast between the old Hansiatic port of Bergen and the far north industrial town of Kirkenes, near the Russian border on the Barents Sea. They do this twelve months a year. Founded in the early 1800s, Hurtigruten, meaning express route, used to be the official Postal carrier and, even though times have changed, the Company ships still have the honour of flying the Norwegian Postal flag. Nowadays they deliver a wide range of goods to all the principal coastal towns and villages between Bergen and Kirkenes. People use it like a bus and others pjust go along for the ride. The round trip is frequently listed as one of the great travel experiences of the world.
On the sixth day our ship reached the Troll Fjord, a geological wonder some hundred miles north of the Arctic Circle.
It is extremely narrow, yet very deep, allowing small ocean-going liners to go in, very carefully.
We arrived at midnight. The Arctic twilight lingered and a bright crescent Moon shone from a clear starlit sky. Our ship slipped in gently on the deep oil dark water, and the sheer, black granite walls on either side towered hundreds of feet above us, so close one felt almost able to reach out and touch them.
Haunting cries of kittiwakes echoed around us, giving the place an unreal atmosphere, as though we were in a film set from Lord of the Rings.
Nearby, two ladies from Lancashire stared at the dripping walls of rock gently sliding by as seabirds wheeled and called above us, their cries echoing from cliff to cliff. Without turning to her companion, one of them said quietly,
"I've 'ad that many anaesthetics I couldn't count. Some of them were OK but others made me sick for hours. It were agony with me stitches, something' shocking'. Some anaesthetics what they give yer are different. I 'ad one, it were a sort of gas. It didn't knock yer out. Yer sort o' knew what was 'appenin' but yer weren't bothered. Before they give it to me one doc said, 'What sort of music would yer like to like to listen to on yer 'eadphones?'
I said Country an' Western, but 'e said 'We 'aven't got no Country and Western, but I got some Tchaikovsky. 'e wrote a good tune. I think he said it was called The Sugar Bum Fairy and asked if that would do would do?'
Really I was passed carin'.
Any'ow, my 'usband, 'e went in to have some of 'is toes off 'cos 'e were walkin' funny. Worked a treat it did. 'e were walkin' straight as a die fer months afterwards, but 'is old trouble come back. 'e wanted the same treatment again, but the consultant told 'im 'e 'adn't got enough toes left to do it no more.
I was 'avin' trouble walkin' at the time. My big toes were givin' me gyp, so I went in an' asked if they could do the same fer me.
'You can't come in 'ere askin' to 'ave yer toes off. That sort of thing 'as to be decided on medical grounds. That's why them surgeons 'as years of expensive trainin'. Anyway, big toes is important. You needs 'em so you don't fall flat on yer face. Your 'usband, 'e 'ad 'is second and fourth toes off 'cos they were jiggered and don't matter anyway. We could 'ave someone look at yer corns, though. 'ow about that?'"
Somehow the magic of the Troll Fjord had passed by these lasses from Lancashire. But no doubt they enjoyed their visit. We did.